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Spend more time with your kids, especially at bedtime.
Toward the end of each day, prioritize some activities that are soothing and reassuring, such as positive bedtime stories, positive music playing in the background, and time for prayer and devotions.
You are setting the tone and defining the reality for your household, choice by choice and word by word.
With that said, let's look at some proactive ways to help your children adjust, reset, and thrive after a divorce.
Even younger children may be curious about such basic questions as "Will you and Mommy ever get back together? " Before jumping into an answer to these kinds of queries, try reframing the question and asking for your child's opinion and input.
This process is enormously valuable with adolescents; when you value and include their opinions, you help them feel respected. You don't need to pretend that life is wonderful; you don't need to act like divorce is an upgrade or a beautiful choice. Beyond this basic reality, they need to hang on to a few other certainties also - their parents still love them, and their family, even in its new configuration, will share a positive future. David & Lisa Frisbie are Christian family counselors and authors, specializing in the post-divorce family.
Children respond to divorce in a variety of ways, including fear, withdrawal, resentment, anger, and hyperactivity.
Here are a few condensed key principles as you navigate this process."To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).For most ex-spouses, the wise choice is to wait until the initial shock and trauma of marital dissolution can dissipate.For some newly single men and women getting back into the dating scene is almost immediate.Even though they struggle with the trauma of a marital breakup, ex-spouses may seek to get involved with someone for various reasons.
In all of these interactions, show your children a hope that is genuine and real. They have written 25 books and dozens of articles about topics in marriage and family life.